cHubby and I have been married for 5 years next month. Honestly when we first got married, I didn't think that it would last this long. I was younger and got bored easily (and tried to break up with him several times), but maybe I'm older and wiser? Who knows the reason but I can't imagine my life without him now. Its so comforting for me to know that I have someone out there who knows me almost as well as I know myself. I joked at the New Year - that this year I promised not to threaten to divorce him because when we get into really big arguments, that's what I do.... leave him. He finds it a bit cold hearted that I can would walk away from our relationship. It's not that I don't think that it wouldn't hurt or that I wouldn't be sad, I just know that I would have to find a way to move on and that's what I would have to do to survive.

We planned a luxurious anniversary at Lizard Island and booked our flights before I realized that I have to go back to Minnesota. But things worked out and my work is letting take time off. I scheduled my flights to go back to visit my grandma over her 88th birthday, I wish that I could stay longer...

We started watching You're Beautiful. I had to stop because I was getting pissed about romanticization for the Korean orphan. I don't get it for a country that exports thousands of children everyday, why do they insist on making everyone an orphan in dramas? I still haven't heard from my dad. With all of the trauma over Christmas, I'm looking forward my trips.

We went away for the weekend in Jervis Bay. Our friends from Manly are expecting and we headed out for a friend's birthday. We drove through the national park which has an Aboriginal community. The homes were a bit run down and cluttered, which sparked a discussion about social and racial hierarchy. The government disappoints me down here and I find most Australians a bit racist. It made me think that I was wasting my life and that I should be working is social justice. I'd really like to go back to school but I have to sort out some of my personal issues first.

I'm tired all the time and moody all the time. I just don't have enough energy to deal with people. I don't know why but I hope that going to visit Minnesota will help me. I think because of the breakdown in Korea, I feel a bit out of place. But as I say that, I was talking to cHubby about being worried about running into people if I go shopping. I've become more panicky lately. I don't even know if this last paragraph makes sense.